...Enjoy
Criterion A
5-6 range because i knew the passage and the author. i stated the exact scene and act thus showing knowledge of the context and story line.
Criterion B
3-4 i feel as though i was missing some key points or devices in the text.
Criterion C
2 The only truly organized pieces were the beginning and end.
Criterion D
3 i feel as though my language was adequate
*P.S. i wasnt high when i made this i was just really tired/ sick
I think you made a good start here. I think your ideas were really good, but your language/execution kind of limited them. Try to be confident and use clearer language--this will help assert your ideas better! I would also try to discuss HOW Shakespeare's choices affect the reader/the text more because that will help you score on the rubric. You could also try to use more "literary terms" in your discussion of the passage. Also try to go more in depth with your analysis in order to reach the 7-8 minute mark. Good start!
ReplyDeleteOkay haha welllllll....I'm pretty sure the passage we had was on Never Let Me Go, but that's beside the fact. Well maybe it was for B day...
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I thought you did a good job referring back to the text and discussing major themes. You did talk pretty slowly at first which made it a little hard to follow along, but you did a pretty good job for being sick and tired. For criterion A I liked that you did know the specifics about the article. For criterion B and C, I agree with you and for criterion D I feel as though the slow talking may have brought you down, but your overall language and vocab was good.
P.S. I found the ending to be a lot funnier than it probably should've been, so thanks for the laugh
I think you had a really good start because you knew exactly when this scene happened and the context of it. However, I would work on your end result and make it a little more clear. Also, it might be an idea to evaluate more specific examples to increase the analysis. I agree with your grades of yourself.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Sarah is right, the ending is great.
P.S.S. I think you said Mrs. Genentsky...
"I'm Macbeth" Oh?! Anyways, I think you missed a lot of discussion of literary elements. You focused on themes of Macbeth overall but I didn't really see where you were directly finding the message of this passage. I think you did a good job of discussing the elements of a play, for example explaining asides. I have a funny feeling that planning isn't your strong suit but I think more detailed planning would have helped focus your IOC more. Also on the real deal you might not want to tell IB you didn't like Macbeth!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, maybe Macbeth wasn't your favorite book because you never had a copy in class and always had to borrow mine?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you weren't very organized, and the ideas were very good in an analytical sense but the slow talking and long pauses as you transitioned from one idea to another really cut out the flow of the conversation and made it hard to follow.
You hit the major themes of the overall play and how they were present in the passage, but you did little analysis of the literary devices present in the passage (Funny, when you and I did a practice IOC way back when, I was the exact opposite).
RT Madie on not telling IB you didn't like an assigned book from them.
RT Sarah on the ending
One more thing: your beginning statement talks about the basic structure of the passage and what Shakespeare's goal was with the passage, but doesn't mention anything about the methods and literary devices that you analyze later on. Make sure you have a solid opening statements that touches on almost everything you will talk about, this makes it easier to check off things as you talk about them (for organizational purposes) and also as a guide for your conclusion statement. (Idk if you have to say "in conclusion", or something similar, before Mrs. Genesky will talk to you, or if "What questions do you have for me?" would work as well)
You started off this commentary super strong. You clearly knew exactly where the excerpt was coming from and helped to give the audience the understanding of that. Which is super important because a strong start is always good. However, there were many long pauses in between your thoughts, so for the real thing, try to have it flow better. This will also help with your organization grade. Try to avoid words like "things". All together though, the analysis of the passage was pretty thorough and showed the purpose of what the author wrote. Good job Jose, over.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I like the frozen beginning picture of this video. The background knowledge of the text was very detailed and excellent. To help your process flow better, I think it would be useful to list and categorize your thoughts. Great job Jose!
ReplyDeleteThe part where you actually analyzed it was good, and you had good starts for where you could have elaborated for more time that way you made 8 minutes. Too bad the effects can't be part of the actual presentation because they were funny and it made it less boring to watch. Also when you do the real one don't pause too long.
ReplyDeleteIOC goals!!!!! First of off, I woudl like to say taht that was the bezt IA I hav evr seen. Nah but on the reals, that was phenomenal. I really enjoyed your personal devotion to the text. I also enjoyed your attempts to demonstrate the scene yourself, where you did an impression of two of the main characters. As a wise man once said: You chased the deer that leads to the bald eagles nest, yielding the egg of truth. Nature smiles upon you.
ReplyDeleteOverall, 10/10 best IOC ever.
Alright, so I feel as though Jose that this was a pretty good attempt at completing your IOC. Honestly I don't think it was a complete failure, and you probably did better than I ever could at analyzing a passage at ten o'clock at night, so props to you. Like everyone else has already stated, you did a good job at recognizing context and themes of the passage in relation to Macbeth as a whole. Going along I also want to reiterate the idea that others have presented about having a better flow and expanding your analysis to fit 8 minutes. But, for what this was meant to be (a practice) I think you did an above adequate job. So congrats.
ReplyDelete